Still Counting
by BlackRaven
Summary: Set as an alternate ending and sequel to Body Count What if the outcome of Calleigh and Kerner's encounter had been different? what if Calleigh had gotten hurt? I'VE UPDATED! Come a take a look oh, and send reviews!
1. prologue

I don't own them - I don't know who does  
  
This story came to me after watching "Body count" - I started thinking - what would have happened if the ending was different? What if the confrontation between Calleigh and Kerner went down a different way?  
  
Please don't hate me for putting Calleigh through this and don't send me any hate mail - It was just something that went through my head. so don't shoot the messenger!!!  
  
****  
  
Calleigh woke up with a jolt, taking a second to realize where she was. Then she saw John Hagen sleeping peacefully on the chair and remembered that she stayed the night on the couch at the crime lab. She smiled as she looked at him sleeping there in the obviously uncomfortable chair - no matter how hard she protested, she had to admit that she felt flattered and even slightly touched that he was so adamant on protecting her. She didn't need it - but it was charming non-the less.  
  
She got up and stretched on the way to the lab "Hey Cynthia! Got anything for me?" She greeted the young technician  
  
"Yeah I got the analysis on your gun lubricant. It's a special brand, pretty old school. They don't sell this stuff at just any gun store"  
  
"Yeah" Calleigh said thoughtfully, examining the results "And I know exactly where they do!"  
  
*  
  
John Hagen opened his eyes groggily about an hour later. All signs of tiredness were gone though, the second he noticed that Calleigh wasn't on the couch. For a moment, his paranoia took over and he started considering the possibility that Kerner had taken her, abducted her from right under his nose.  
  
# Get a grip on your self John! This is a police station! Not even Kerner is dumb enough to come in her with all the cops and detectives roaming the halls #  
  
He practically ran to the lab down the hall, asking everyone who crossed his path weather they had seen her.  
  
"Calleigh Duquesne, have you seen her?" He asked as he got into the lab, still pulling on his jacket  
  
"She came in about an hour ago" Cynthia replied  
  
"What did she want?"  
  
"Results on that substance you recovered. The gun slick brand"  
  
"Where did she go?"  
  
"I don't know. She took off like a bat out of hell"  
  
Hagen sighed in frustration. For some reason he was getting a bad feeling about this.  
  
*  
  
Calleigh walked slowly through the isles of the gun shop, her gun was drawn and her eyes were fixed on the mirror - not loosing sight of Kerner's location.  
  
She breathed deeply, calming herself and tried to walk as quietly as possible and not alert him to her presence. She had to look down for a moment to watch where she was going and not bump into and item that lay on the floor. It was only for a second, but when she looked back up to the mirror - Kerenr was gone from her line of sight.  
  
*  
  
Hagen was driving around in his car aimlessly. He had no idea where Calleigh went. He had no where to find her - instead, he was listening closely to the police scanner, hoping against hope to hear nothing.  
  
But the call finally came  
  
"All units, all units we have an officer down at Baker's gun shop at Lexington and Maple, multiple shots fired, suspect seen fleeing the scene, considered armed and dangerous"  
  
*  
  
Horatio was just watching as the cops were putting Stuart into the car when his phone range  
  
"H, it's Speedle"  
  
The sound of the young man's voice was enough for Horatio to know that something horrible has happened  
  
"Speed what is it?"  
  
"It's Calleigh, Kerner got to her H, he shot her H"  
  
"Is she?." Horatio couldn't bring himself to utter the words  
  
"They're on their way to the hospital, I don't know yet, but it doesn't look good!!!" 


	2. chapter 1

Like I said before - I don't own them, I don't know them  
  
This is an AU based on "Body count" and the spoilers are pretty much the whole season - which you sill see in the flashbacks - so have fun and please send me your reviews! I really need to hear what you think about this!!!!  
  
So have fun.  
  
***  
  
Erik ran into the hospital corridor and almost slammed into one of the nurses in his hurry. He turned a corner and came to a dead stop.  
  
Alexx was sitting in one of the chairs, crying silently. Horatio was standing by her side, his hand placed on her shoulder in silent support. Speed was couching next to the opposite wall his head between his hands. John Hagen was standing next to him, leaning against the wall, his shoulders slumped in defeat.  
  
He started to walk towards them slowly, he was running a minute ago but now every step seemed to be coming with unbelievable effort.  
  
"I just heard the call" He mumbled as he reached the others "How is she? She's going to be ok, right? She's ok?"  
  
"They don't know yet" Alexx managed to mumble "She's in surgery now"  
  
Suddenly rage washed over Erik and he turned to Hagen angrily "What the hell happened? You were supposed to protect her!"  
  
"I was protecting her!" Hagen said angrily  
  
"Well you did a great job!" Erik spat out  
  
He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Horatio standing behind him "There's no need for this Erik, he was doing his best. You know Calleigh when she puts her mind to something, she can be stubborn as hell. It's not going to do us any good to point fingers"  
  
Erik could feel the anger wash out of him at Horatio's words. He knew he was right. He sent and apologizing look at John, and the detective nodded his understanding.  
  
"Calleigh Duquesne?" came a voice behind them and they all turned to see the doctor standing in the hallway  
  
"Yes Doctor? Is she going to be ok?" Horatio stepped forward  
  
"Miss Duquesne has suffered multiple gun shot wounds, two bullets as a matter of fact. The first bullet grazed her arm, it caused minimal damage to the muscle tissue and a small nerve damage but that will heal over time" the doctor started explaining "The second bullet though, the second bullet entered from the back and punctured her right lung, severing a number of arteries in the process. She lost a lot of blood. We had to perform extensive surgery to repair the damage"  
  
"But is she going to be ok?" Speed insisted  
  
"We did the best we could but it's up to Miss Duquesne now. We'll have to see how things progress over the next few days"  
  
*  
  
2 HOURS LATER  
  
They were all still sitting in the waiting room, doing absolutely nothing. The doctor informed them that Calleigh was unconscious and that she probably wouldn't be up for at least another day. He told them that until she came to he was not allowing any visitors.  
  
Horatio came back from taking a cell on his cell and called for their attention "Look everyone, there's nothing we can do here right now, and we still have a crime scene to go over"  
  
"Let someone else do it!" Erik grumbled "We have more important things to do"  
  
"No we don't Erik. There's nothing we can do for Calleigh here, but we can go out there and make sure we catch Kerner and put him back where he belongs" Horatio said sternly "Delko, Speed, I want you to go down to the gun store and go over the crime scene, Alexx I need you to get back to the morgue and go over the bodies again - there has to be something we missed. John."  
  
"I'm not moving an inch" Hagen cut him off mid sentence "The minute Kerner hears she's still alive this is going to be his first pit stop - I'm not going anywhere!"  
  
Horatio nodded his agreement and waited for the others to start filing out of the room. Before following he placed a hand on John's shoulder - silently thanking him.  
  
John nodded at him "I'll call you guys if anything changes"  
  
"You do that!"  
  
*  
  
Erik, Speed and Horatio stood in front of the gun store and stared at the sign. They've all seen their share of horrible things - working in their line of work - but this was different. This wasn't just some ammoniums victim - this was Calleigh, their Calleigh.  
  
Erik's mind flashed back to a time about a year ago when he stayed over at her place. They were working a case of a Hispanic girl found dead in the water and the atmosphere in his neighborhood was getting a little hostile.  
  
FLASHBACK  
  
It was late at night and they were tiered and exhausted and they sat on her couch watching TV  
  
"Hey Call?" He was to tiered to do more then slightly turn his head sideways towards her "what are we watching?"  
  
"I have no idea! But there are colors, and the screen is shiny.I think my brain too tiered to comprehend anything more then that" She laughed  
  
"We should probably go to sleep" He suggested  
  
"One problem with that theory Delko" She smiled "I don't think I have the strength to get up from this couch"  
  
He laughed and put an arm around her, pulling her to him until they were leaning against each other "Maybe we should just close our eyes for a second"  
  
"Yeah" she mumbled "just for a second"  
  
They both closed their eyes, when they opened them next - the morning cartoons were playing on the TV and the phone was ringing - Horatio needed them back in the lab.  
  
PRESENT DAY  
  
"Erik? You ready?" Horatio's voice shook Erik out of his daydreaming and he quickly nodded.  
  
The three man slowly walked into the store and started looking around.  
  
Speed picked up the wanted ad that Calleigh left on the counter and surveyed Kerner's face for a moment before placing the page carefully in an evidence bag. He noticed a smudge of blood on the counter and took out a Q- tip - collecting a sample and marking it into evidence as well.  
  
"Speed, Horatio. Come take a look at this!"  
  
When they reached Delko he was standing in the middle isle, a large pool of blood was at his feet and the sight made Speed's stomach do a flip flop  
  
# this is where it happened, this is where the son of a bitch shot her # For a minute Speed's mind started racing, imagining how it was, how she laid there, bleeding, probably scared to death. He shook the thoughts quickly out of his head - not able to deal with them at the moment.  
  
"Look at this!" Erik pointed at something on the wall and Speed moved in to take a closer look  
  
"It looks like high velocity spatter" He stated "from a lower angle" He looked back at the pool of blood that belonged to Calleigh and then back at the spatter "H, this isn't Calleigh's blood, it isn't the right angle or direction, this is Kerner's blood. H, she got him!" 


	3. chapter 2

John Hagen pushed the door silently and came into the room as quietly as possible. He knew it was redundant, after all Calleigh was unconscious, no amount of noise he would make would disturb her right now, but never the less it felt like he should be quiet.  
  
He took a seat next to the bed and looked at Calleigh. She looked so peaceful and quiet - he never remembered ever seeing her this quiet before. Every time he saw her she was always on the move - going somewhere, working in the lab, always with a smile on her face and her witty banter. He was so used to seeing her that way that it was somewhat unsettling to see her so quiet.  
  
He took care of everything else - there was a uniformed police officer at the door, and more at every entrance to the hospital, the medical staff has been alerted and Kerner's photo shown to everyone so they would be able to recognize him if he came by.  
  
Now, all he could do was wait...  
  
*  
  
CSI Crime lab.  
  
¨Ok Erik, thank you¨ Horatio said into the phone and placed down the receiver. It was official now, the blood analysis confirmed Kerner's blood on the wall, an extensive search of the crime scene produced no bullet - which meant that Kerner still had the bullet in him.  
  
Horatio pushed away the files on his desk and leaned back, rubbing the bridge of his nose. He was going over Kerner's file over and over again to a point where he almost knew it by heart.  
  
He was looking for something, anything, that would tell them where he went. They knew he was in need of medical attention, they already alerted every medial facility in the tri state area to be on the look out. Now all they had to do was figure out where he was headed to next.  
  
FLASHBACK  
  
Horatio walked down the street after the uniformed officer, he could see the yellow police tapes a little further up the road. He looked around, soaking in the different surroundings. He was in New Orleans, called in for a consult regarding the murders of three women which the local police has been unable to stop.  
  
The body was lying on the pavement face down, her clothes had been ripped off and there were serious signs of abuse. He knelt by and started going over the body, right next to her right arm was a bullet casing and he picked it up carefully with his pen.  
  
"It looks like a small caliber" a female voice came from behind him and he turned his head to see a blond female officer standing behind him "probably a 32, but her wounds.." she suddenly stopped and smiled sheepishly "Sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you!"  
  
"No, no. It's ok" he smiled back at her "go on.."  
  
"Well I looked at the wounds on the victim and one of the wounds is definitely from a 32 caliber, the other one is a larger caliber, much larger and from a closer range"  
  
"And you can tell that just from looking at the wound?" he frowned, part of him intrigued.  
  
"I have a thing about ballistics, I know a lot about it" she shrugged, slightly embraced "Some of the guys around here call me "bullet girl"..."  
  
The next thing he knew he was asking her to join him working the case.  
  
PRESENT DAY  
  
"H?" the voice startled him and he gave a slight jump in his seat. He looked up to see Speed standing at the doorway - for a moment his heat stopped - fearing that there were bad news from the hospital.  
  
"We have a few of Kerner's friends in for questioning, we thought maybe one of them could let us know how to track him down and we have a lead on a doctor that treats gunshots under the table"  
  
"Yeah" Horatio got up, sighing, "I'm on my way"  
  
*  
  
They entered the clinic and passed the receptionist without a word, pushing her out of the way. They busted the door open and entered the doctor's office, finding him seated at his chair, going over some patient's files.  
  
"Doctor Marks" Horatio greeted "How are you doing today?"  
  
The doctor looked around, fear and anger showing in his eyes "What is this about?"  
  
"We heard you were the guy to turn to if someone happens to have a bullet in him" Horatio said slowly, nodding for Speed to start looking around for any signs of blood or surgery.  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about" the doctor tried defending himself.  
  
"Hey H, come take a look at this" Speed called him over and Horatio came to see a blood stain on the floor and a piece of cloth covered in blood in the trash can.  
  
"Someone was bleeding all over your clinic Dr. Marks" Horatio turned back to the doctor while Speed collected the sample  
  
"It's a clinic, people bleed here" he stuttered  
  
"Ok" Horatio nodded "We're going to take this back to the lab and if this turns out to be Hank Kerner's blood I'm going to come back here, take you to prison and shut down your business. How's that?"  
  
"Look" the doctor finally cracked "He was here, but I didn't treat him ok? I'm clean now, I don't do that anymore - he came by and I sent him away"  
  
"Sent him where?"  
  
*  
  
Calleigh tried to fight the fog in her head and regain consciousness. She finally managed to open her eyes and blinked a few times at the bright florescent light.   
  
When she finally managed to adjust her eyes to the light she tried looking around the room. The first thing she saw was John Hagen, sleeping in a chair by her bed.  
  
For a moment she had a strong sense of De-ja-vu, she was so confused she thought for a moment that she was at the CSI crime lab, sleeping on the couch while Hagen was sleeping beside her trying to protect her from Kerner.   
  
But a moment later the memories of the day came rushing back and she could suddenly feel all the aching parts of her body screaming at her causing her to groan.   
  
The sound startled Hagen and he opened his eyes. When eh noticed her eyes were open he smiled at her softly.  
  
"Hey there! How are you feeling?"  
  
"Ok, I guess" she tried to say but her voice came out only barely above a whisper  
  
"Don't try to talk" He smiled again "You scared us quit a bit there Call"   
  
She tried to smile and move her head but the pain came shooting through her body again and she winced in pain. He saw her wince and got up from his seat "Wait a second, I'll go call a doctor"   
  
**  
  
Ok people that's it for this time - but don't get too comfortable, I'm not done with putting Calleigh through hell yet... (evil grin!!!)  
  
??  
  
(footnote continued) 


	4. chapter 3

Hey everyone - well, this is the next part and I hope you like it but first I have to say something that I just feel like saying...  
  
Well, I don't know if anyone else noticed it but writing this fiction I've been watching the episode "Body count" over and over again - and I just noticed something that I really liked and didn't notice before - have you noticed that at the end of the episode, which was the last episode of the season, there was a montage of all the characters and how they kind if unwind after the big case finally ended (Erik jogging, Calleigh shooting and so on...) - it was just like at the end of the first episode where they had a montage just like that (with Speed on the motorcycle, Erik washing the car and so on...).  
  
So it was like closing a circle of some sorts...  
  
I don't know! I just kind of liked it!  
  
Part 4  
  
Alexx placed the receiver down in it's cradle and covered her face with her hands. She was still finishing up examining the bodies left by Kerner all over town. In fact she just now finished going over Janet Maderno's body and preparing it to be released to her family.  
  
FLASHBACK  
  
"Hey Alexx?" It was late at night, they had just finished working a specially gruesome rape case and the two of them had snuck up to the roof of the building with two bottles of beer, needing some female company, and only female company.  
  
"What is it Call'?" Alexx asked back lazily, tilting her head back to get a better look at the night sky.  
  
"How come you always talk to the victims? The bodies I mean?"   
  
The question threw Alexx a bit. She and Calleigh had been close from the second they laid eyes on each other. When the young blond arrived almost three month ago Alexx fell immediately in-love with her bright attitude and her cynical sense of humor, and Calleigh couldn't help by be touched with the older woman's tenderness and caring nature.  
  
"I don't know" Alexx started slowly "I guess it makes me feel a little like I'm still dealing with live people. A lot of coroners start get worn out quickly - they start treating their victims like pieces of dead meat. I guess I just don't want to ever forget that they used to be people..."  
  
After a moment of silence Alexx let out a question of her own "How come you like guns so much?"  
  
"My dad." Calleigh smiled at her, even in the semi-darkness she could see those pearly white teeth shining when the blond smiled. "He loved guns, and he wasn't much of a conservationist, it gave me some connection to him, something that made him think I was special - it's kind of amazing if you think about it - such a small thing able to create so much devastation... when you're a young girl, hiding from her drunk father - that thought can somehow be comforting..."  
  
They never talked about it again after that night, never even mentioned it.  
  
PRESENT DAY  
  
The sound of her beeper brought her back to reality, she checked the screen and saw John Hagen's number - good or bad he must have had some news  
  
She couldn't help but play Calleigh's words over and over in her mind "Such a small thing able to create so much devastation..."  
  
She left the room and headed for the telephone, something on the television caught her attention on the way there.  
  
*   
  
John Hagen waited outside while the doctor talked to Calleigh and ran a few testes. He paced in front of the window trying to not to be noticed as he peaked in the room repeatedly. His phone range and with one look over his shoulder to make sure the uniformed policeman was still there he went a little further down the hall to the nurses station to answer it.  
  
"John Hagen here"  
  
"Hagen, It's Alexx" He recognized the coroner's voice on the other end of the line   
  
"Hey Alexx, did you get my message about Calleigh waking up?"   
  
"I was just on my over" Alexx replied, her voice sounding a little more on edge then he expected "John, You better turn on a TV, channel three"  
  
He looked around and saw a small television set on the shelf in the nurses station, covering the mouth piece he asked the young woman behind the counter to turn up the volume and put on the right channel.  
  
"One of the escaped convicts from today's jail breaking is still on the loose here in downtown Miami. Police is not handing out much information at this point but unofficial sources tell us that the body count here in Miami is starting to rise - putting the number of fatalities at 4 right now, with another victim - a Miami Dade crime lab analyst - still in the hospital, her condition not released at this point..."   
  
Hagen turned away from the television in disgust. "Damn it" he mumbled into the phone  
  
"How did they get it? I thought there was a media blackout on this thing!?" Alexx said in frustration  
  
"I don't know! Those vultures can get anything these days" Hagen mumbled   
  
"John, he knows where she is!" Alexx's voice sounded more panicked   
  
"Look I'm going to beef up security here in the hospital, don't worry, he won't come anywhere near her" Hagen assured her, already going over the steps needed to be taken in his mind "Tell the others that she's awake will you?"  
  
"I will"   
  
Hagen finished the conversation and headed back towards Calleigh's room, the doctor was already gone when he pushed the door open and entered, wondering how to break the news to Calleigh.  
  
She lifted her eyes when she saw him come in, the small smile on her lips fading when she saw the grim look on his face.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
*  
  
Horatio clicked the phone shut and sighed in relief "She's awake" he replied to Speed's unasked question and the young man let out a similar sigh of his own.  
  
They followed Kerner's trail to another doctor, unfortunately, this doctor didn't have the sense to refuse the convict's request for treatment, and received an ironic reward for his efforts.  
  
The doctor was lying face down in a pool of his own blood next to the bloody table where he must have been treating Kerner not long ago. The surgical equipment he used was still covered with blood and the bullet he pulled from Kerner's body was still in the small basin.   
  
Speed was kneeling next to the body, examining the wound "Single gun shot to the head, close range, there's gun powder residue on the temple. This guy is consistent"   
  
Speed looked up at Horatio to notice that his boss was not entirely paying attention to him. "H? you with me?"  
  
Horatio looked around the room, knowing what he was looking for but not wanting to let the others know about it yet. At the far end of the room he noticed a TV set and he went over and pushed the button, waiting to see what channel it would be on when he turned it on.  
  
"I'm Katy Parkinson and you're watching channel three news..."   
  
Horatio clicked the TV shut again, looking back at Speed and Erik who were looking at him quizzically "They just reported Calleigh in the channel three news, he knows she's alive"  
  
"He's not dumb enough to go after her again is he?" Speed asked, his tone sounding more hopeful then certain.  
  
"I think he just might..." Erik said ominously, pulling up a piece of paper from the doctor's desk.  
  
Horatio came over and read the note out load "I'm coming for you blondy!"   
  
"H, I got some blood on the phone here" Erik continued, trying not to show how shaken he was with the death threat on his close friend.  
  
Horatio nodded at him and he swabbed the phone with a q-tip, taking a sample for analysis. Then he picked up the phone and pushed the redial button  
  
"Hospital information how can I help you?"   
  
The cheerful voice on the other end of the line made Erik want to vomit.  
  
??  
  
(footnote continued) 


	5. chapter 4

"Look doctor I understand that she isn't one hundred percent but I need to get her out of this hospital and somewhere safe" Hagen insisted "there is a man after her and this hospital is way to big for me to make sure it is completely secure. I need to move her somewhere else"  
  
"And I'm telling you detective Hagen, Miss Duquesne has severe injuries" The doctor was starting to get agitated "if you move her out of this hospital at this point that man you are so concerned about will not have to bother - she will die by herself"  
  
The doctor left and Hagen was left alone in the hall.  
  
He made his calls, asking for more officers to guard the doors and more patrols around the hospital. He made his way back to Calleigh's room and walked in as quietly as he could.  
  
He sat down, intended to watch her sleep, but she stirred and opened her eyes.  
  
"Hey" her voice was still barely above a whisper  
  
"Hey there..."  
  
"Is everything ok?"  
  
"Don't worry, I'm taking care of everything, just get some rest" he whispered, reaching out and caressing her forehead for a brief second.  
  
*  
  
She didn't want to sleep, but she was so damn tiered  
  
# They must be pumping me with enough drugs to knock out an elephant # the thought flashed through her mind but she couldn't keep it for long.   
  
She was nodding between waking and sleep, hearing parts of conversations as the nurses came by, seeing Hagen's concerned expression as he sat in that chair beside her bed, she thought she saw Alexx there at some point, she thought she might have even talked to her - but she wasn't sure.  
  
Her mind flashed back to Hagen, who seemed to be there every time she opened her eyes, he looked tiered and worried. She knew that there was something she was supposed to be worried about to but with the fog in her head she couldn't really remember what it was  
  
  
  
*   
  
A few hours later Hagen walked out of the room in search for coffee, he stopped for a moment in the hall when he saw Calleigh's doctor. He was standing and talking to a young man with blond hair and blue eyes - the resemblance was uncanny and Hagen did not need an introduction to realize this must be Calleigh's brother.  
  
He lingered for a moment and listened in on the conversation  
  
"Mr. Duquesne I'm glad you're here, we're only allowed to give this kind of information to family member and so far you're the first one to arrive" He waited for the young man to nod and then continued "You're sister has been severely injured, we ran a few tests once she woke up and found out that the damage to her arm was more sever then we first thought, it will take a while for her to regain mobility in that arm. The other bullet passed close to her heart and spinal cord, puncturing the lung."  
  
"but she's going to be ok? Right?" the brother asked hopefully  
  
"She will, but it will take a long time" the doctor assured him  
  
Hagen had heard enough, he walked away, head slumped. He had to get himself some coffee.   
  
*  
  
Speed and Erik rushed to the hospital as fast as they could, sirens blaring. It was redundant and they knew it - after all Hagen was there and so was half the police force according to what Alexx reported.  
  
But they rushed over there anyway.  
  
Erik was driving, his knuckles turning white from the firm grip on the steering wheel. They weren't talking, there was nothing to say. Speed was grimly looking out the window, watching the buildings and people zoom by.   
  
Soon his vision blurred and his mind wondered off.  
  
FLASHBACK  
  
"Hey Speed, what's with the glum face?"  
  
He looked up with a start and saw her coming into the dark lab where he had been sitting for the past few hours. "I thought everyone went home..."  
  
"Everyone did, I stayed back and waited to se how long it would take you to get out of isolation"  
  
He looked at her quizzically and she shrugged, letting out a soft chuckle "Well I WAS waiting but I came to realize the patience was not one of my virtues"  
  
"We all have our crosses to bare" he mumbled grumpily as she sat down next to him  
  
After a few minutes of silence he realized she was not going to go away and decided to start talking "Do you know she was the one who recruited me? she brought me in and taught me everything I know"  
  
"I didn't know that" she said softly  
  
"She didn't even tell me she was leaving" he mumbled, knowing he was sounding like a baby  
  
"Speed, Magen... she hasn't been the same since her husband died. I don't even know how she managed to come back here at all after what happened to him, going back to solving other people's crimes and tragedies when you own husband had just been shot..." She placed a hand on his shoulder and started rubbing it, somehow the contact brought him some comfort.  
  
"I still thought she would at least tell me herself, we worked together for a long time Call', I thought she was my friend"  
  
Calleigh didn't answer, instead she kept rubbing his shoulder for a while. After a while she got up and wrapped her arms around him for a second before pulling him out of his chair.  
  
"Where are you taking me?"  
  
She didn't answer but simply continued to drag him after her. They made their way out of the lab, down to the lobby of the building and out to the street. She pulled him after her as she crossed the street to a bar.  
  
"Calleigh I'm really not in the mood..."  
  
She ignored him and ordered two beers. When the drinks came she put one in his hand "Come on Speed, say goodbye..."  
  
"What?" bewilderment showed on his face.  
  
"Here I'll start" she lifted her beer in the air "To Magen, good luck where ever you go, we hope you find what you're looking for"  
  
He smiled and took a swig.  
  
PRESENT DAY  
  
"Hey Speed" Erik's voice finally penetrated through his thoughts  
  
"what?"  
  
"We're here" 


	6. chapter 5

Calleigh was awake for a change when he walked into the room. Speed and Erik had gone back to the lab. Her older brother, Bobby had gone back to his hotel. It was just the two of them again.  
  
"Are you ok? Any pain?" he asked gently  
  
"A bit" she replied quietly "You should go home John, get some rest, you've been here for ages"   
  
"I'm fine Call'" he shrugged coming closer to her "I'm not going anywhere"  
  
"John, you have half the police force patrolling this hospital. I don't think there are any police officers left to patrol the rest of the city. I'm going to be fine. Just go home and get some rest"  
  
She kept insisting and finally he relented - promising to go home once she falls asleep. But when the nurse woke her up a couple of hours later to take her for some tests, John was still there, sleeping in the chair by her bed.  
  
*  
  
Horatio walked into the break room in the middle of the night to find Erik and Speed sitting at the table, numerous empty cups of coffee in front of them.   
  
"It's the middle of the night, what are you two still doing here?"   
  
"We could ask you the same thing..." Erik grumbled and Horatio nodded in understanding.  
  
"It's a cold trail H" Speed sighed, saying what they have all been thinking all day "there's no way we can find him unless he makes another move"  
  
"And we all know what his next move is going to be..."   
  
*  
  
Calleigh lay still on the cold metal examination table waiting for an x-ray. A nurse came in and adjusted her to the right position and left quickly. The hard surface was highly uncomfortable and the pain in her arm and back was growing stronger.  
  
She waited for a few more minutes but nothing happened and the machine did not start working.   
  
"Hello? Is anyone there?" she called out, hoping that the technician in the other room would hear her. She was starting to get a little scared.  
  
*  
  
Hagen woke with a jerk and rubbed his eyes. He suddenly realized that Calleigh was not in the room and fear washed over him like a cold shower. He ran over to the nurses station - a horrible feeling of de-ja-vu coming over him.   
  
"Duquesne, where is she?" he asked urgently  
  
the nurse quickly checked her roster "She's in x-ray"  
  
"How come I wasn't told?" he nearly screamed. Without waiting for an answer he sped down the hall, running as fast as he can. He made his way to the elevator but couldn't bring himself to wait for it so he continued running to the emergency stairwell. He nearly stumbled down the stairs - taking them two at a time.  
  
When he finally got down to the x-ray floor he found it oddly deserted. He took out his weapon from his holster and started moving with caution.   
  
He checked a few doors but they were locked. A woman in a nurse outfit came around the corner and surprised him. She gasped as he turned his gun towards her but he motioned her to keep quiet.   
  
"X-ray room? Which way?"   
  
she pointed shakily in the direction and he thanked her, moving in that direction.   
  
A few more doors down the hall he finally found the right room. He pushed the door but something was blocking it and he had to push even harder.  
  
When the door opened he realized what was blocking the door.  
  
There was a young woman lying on the floor in a pool of blood. He knelt down and checked for a pulse, his gun still drawn. In a chair by the machine's control panel the technician was slumped forward and Hagen moved in and checked for pulse again. Nothing.  
  
"Calleigh!" he gave up on being quiet as his fear rose. "Calleigh!"  
  
He ran to the other room - but it was empty.  
  
Taking out his radio he said breathlessly "All units, seal the hospital. Suspect is on the premises. I repeat suspect in on the premises - and he has the victim. He has Calleigh" 


	7. Chapter 6

Hey everyone - sorry it took so long to update. This chapter is kind of short but I promise this story is going to pick up in the next chapter and things are going to start happening quickly! I'm even planning to put in a little romance. with who?  
  
Just wait and see.  
  
Part 7  
  
Horatio got out of the hummer and practically ran to the glass doors of the hospital - flashing his badge to the cops standing at the entrance. John and Speed met him as soon as he stepped inside.  
  
"We have the hospital completely sealed off" Hagen reported, "We have men searching every room and every closet in this building. We're running plates on all the cars in the parking lot and we have roadblocks in a 1 mile radius."  
  
"We have a door in the docking area that has been pried open - we think that's his point of entry" Eric's voice trembled slightly as he spoke - Horatio realized he was trying hard to keep a professional tone and clear away all the emotions from his voice.  
  
"Detective" an officer came running towards them "someone just reported their car missing from the parking lot, and we found this next to the parking space"  
  
The officer handed something to Hagen and they all leaned closer to inspect it. It was a torn hospital ID bracelet. The name Calleigh Dunesque was clearly printed on it.  
  
*  
  
Calleigh tried to open her eyes but couldn't, there was something covering her eyes. She didn't remember much, she remembered waiting for the technician in the hospital to start the examination and then someone came into the room. She couldn't remember anything more after that.  
  
But even without remembering she knew what was going on - there was only one possible explanation. She wasn't in the hospital anymore, that was for sure. And she didn't exactly walk out of there on her own free will - so that left only one possibility. Kerner.  
  
"Hank?" she tried calling out.  
  
There was a deep cut in her forearm and the pain in her chest and arm was killing her, she tried to adjust her position but it only made the pain to come shooting up and down her body. Making her groan in pain. There was a laughter from somewhere behind her.  
  
"Are you in pain blondy?" he came closer to her and she could feel his breath on her cheek as he whispered in her ear "Are you enjoying these bullet hole I put in you?"  
  
"Are you enjoying the one I put in you?"  
  
Suddenly he slapped her hard across the face, she could feel the taste of blood in her mouth. A second later he pulled the blindfold off.  
  
"What do you want from me?" she spat  
  
"Now what makes you think I want anything from you?" he smirked, playing with the gun in his hand  
  
"Because if you didn't need anything you would have killed me by now"  
  
"You were always clever bitch" he smirked  
  
"I didn't need to be clever to get you Kerner, it's more that you were dumb enough to get caught" she didn't know why she was taunting him like this, and sure enough he slapped her again - hard.  
  
"You're insurance blondy! I use you to get the cops off my back until I get out of the country and then I get to kill you."  
  
*  
  
Horatio drove like mad, almost crashing into a car passing the intersection on front of him. Usually that kind of driving would have earned him some kind of response from the man sitting next to him - but not today. Today, Speed was absolutely quiet, trying to listen in on the conversation Horatio was still conduction on his cell phone with Hagen  
  
"Horatio we found the car" Hagen reported "it's been abandoned"  
  
"any sign of them?"  
  
"Not yet, the SWAT team is still checking all the buildings around the dump site."  
  
Horatio could hear hesitation in Hagen's voice "What is it John? What aren't you telling me?"  
  
"there's a small blood trail" Hagen said quietly "We still don't know if it's Calleigh's or Kerner's"  
  
"Keep everyone off the scene, I don't want anyone contaminating it" Horatio ordered, trying to ignore the pained look Speed was sending him since the words blood trail were mentioned "We're on our way"  
  
*  
  
She looked at him in disbelief for a second, and then simply started laughing, laughing whole heartedly like she hadn't done in days. He came at her and slapped her a third time, causing her to spit blood again  
  
"what are you laughing at?"  
  
"That's your brilliant plan? Kidnapping me to keep the cops off your back?" she let out a chuckle "you never were the brightest bulb in the box! You took me and now every cop in the tri state area is going to be looking for you, they're going to hunt you down like a dog!"  
  
"I don't care that they come looking for me!" he smirked at her, coming closer again and pressing the barrel of the gun to her temple "They can follow me all they want because as long as I have this gun pressed to your pretty little head, they're going to be keeping their distance. They're going to do anything I want, because if they don't - I'm going to blow your brain's out"  
  
His face were so close to her, she could look straight into his eyes. She suddenly remembered something Horatio once told her about how people become the most dangerous when they have nothing more to loose. She held his gaze for a minute, looking into his eyes - that cold lifeless blue, that crazy look - she saw something there that finally made her scared 


	8. Note

Hey Everyone.  
  
I know I haven't updated in like forever and I know some of you might be really pissed at me but things just kept coming up (I have to find a new apartment, my house was totally renovated and I had to sit with the contractors, the Jewish holidays are starting now and my boyfriend spent the last week or so in the hospital) and I really couldn't get to the computer and write the next chapters - even thought they are all already written in my head.  
  
So stay with me for just a little while longer and don't give up on me - I promise that new chapters are going to be posted for all my stories by the end of this week of by the beginning of next week!  
  
I swear!  
  
LOVE Black Raven 


	9. Chapter 7

Hey everyone.  
  
I know it took a long time but I hope you find that this chapter has been worth the wait. This story is going somewhere - at least it is in my mind - and I think I finally got it to the place where the real plot of this story is about to begin. I think I just managed to get all the characters exactly where I want them.  
  
Anyway - enjoy this.  
  
*******  
  
"We found something!" Speed rushed over to where Horatio and Hagen were standing "We found something in the flower bed next to where the car was stolen."  
  
"What is it?"  
  
Speed pulled out an evidence bag and handed it over. Inside was a small iron bar.  
  
"What is that?"  
  
"It's what he used to brake into the car" Speed told him.  
  
"I've seen those things used before" Hagen agreed before braking away to answer his phone  
  
"We might be able to get something off it" Speed nodded, taking the bag back from Horatio "I'm going to take it to the lab, see what I can come up with"  
  
"Make it fast"  
  
Horatio was about to say something else when John called out to him "H, we got him!"  
  
*  
  
Horatio was sitting in the passenger seat as John drove. They were going so fast the images outside became a blurry smudge. He looked carefully at the man sitting beside him.  
  
"You're taking this very personally" he noted  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
Horatio didn't answer but simply fixed Hagen with a look. They have known each other for too long to try and play each other with clever words. Hagen glimpsed away and caught the look on Horatio's face - he sighed, defeated  
  
"She's a member of the team ok?...and she's a friend. I lost a partner and a friend before H, I'm not going through that again"  
  
Horatio looked back at him and said nothing. There was some honesty to that - he knew how hard Ray's death was for Hagen, but he also sensed there was something more then that.  
  
*  
  
Calleigh was lying on the floor, blindfolded again. With her sight gone she was straining to listen to her surroundings.  
  
She heard footsteps before and a noise before that sounded like a heavy metal door sliding shut. Then there was nothing. She listened carefully for what seemed like forever, but there was no sound. Kerner must have gone somewhere.  
  
She tried working on her ropes but every movement caused major pain. She inched closer to the wall and tried sitting up - after a few failed attempts she managed to get herself into a position that was a little more comfortable. She tried shaking off the blindfold and managed to move it enough to get a small glimpse at her surroundings.  
  
It looked like a large warehouse, there was a chair lying upside down and some trash was piled up at the other side of the room. She tried looking for something she could use to cut off the ropes tying her hands but she saw nothing.  
  
Just then she heard the sound of the metal door sliding open and footsteps that indicated Kerner was back.  
  
*  
  
The police cars stopped at the corner of the street and everybody came out and drew their guns. They made the rest of the way to the building in silence, trying not to be seen or heard.  
  
Hagen pointed his finger at the car parked in front of the building and Horatio nodded back. It matched the description of the stolen car they were looking for. He signaled to Speed to get back to the cars and call in for backup, then continued his way into the building after John.  
  
They made the rest of the way up without a sound and stopped in front of a large metal door. Horatio put his ear to the door and tried to listen in, but all he could hear were muffled sounds.  
  
He nodded to Hagen and Erik, on the count of three Hagen shot the lock on the door and Erik pried it open.  
  
From then it all happened pretty fast.  
  
Kerner was holding Calleigh with a gun to her temple, trying to get out through the fire escape. Horatio and Hagen yelled for him to drop the gun and give himself up, Calleigh was screaming from the pain Kerner was causing her as he dragged her with him. They could hear the sound of police sirens coming closer outside.  
  
They were inching closer to him, but he was only pressing the gun even harder into her skull. He pulled her closer to him to shelter himself better but she suddenly screamed and went limp in his arms.  
  
There was a shot and then Kerner was on the floor, in a pool of his own blood.  
  
They all rushed over to Calleigh, Erik was the first on to get to her.  
  
"She doesn't have a pulse!" 


	10. Chapter 8

Part 9  
  
It seemed like time was going in slow motion. This surreal feeling like nothing was moving and everything was moving at once. Hagen stood aside while Erik and Horatio were doing CPR  
  
1..2..3..4..5 Breath  
  
1..2..3.4.5 Breath  
  
"Someone call the paramedics!!!"  
  
"We have an officer down, I repeat - Officer down!!!"  
  
After what seemed like forever the paramedics rushed in with Speed right behind them. The four men stood helplessly while the medics worked on Calleigh. Checking for signs of life. doing CPR. and giving her electric shocks  
  
1.2.3.4.5. Breath charging to 200.. CLEAR!  
  
1.2.3.4.5. Breath charging to 300.. CLEAR!  
  
The chief paramedic stopped CPR to check Calleigh's vitals. A Hush fell on the room, it seemed like everyone were holding their breath, the silence was more deafening then any noise Hagen has ever heard in his life.  
  
Finally they all heard it.  
  
"WE HAVE A PULSE"  
  
*  
  
Alexx signed the last piece of paper on her desk and placed the last report at the top of the pile on her desk. She sighed again and stretched. It was so hard coming to work and pretending nothing was wrong. when in truth - nothing seemed right anymore.  
  
Calleigh was shot, then Calleigh was kidnapped, they had no idea where she was and what they did know was that she was with Kerner who was a total psycho, and they were all falling apart slowly from the tension.  
  
And the office was the worst.  
  
They were a close knit group and everyone knew it. And now with everything that was going on with Calleigh - everyone was looking at her differently. There was this look of pity in their eyes and they seemed to be walking on eggshells around her. Like they were all, her Erik Speed and Horatio, made of some kind of fragile glass.  
  
She has been locking herself in her lab and immersing heself in her work just so she wouldn't have to face anyone.  
  
two young lab techs whose names Alexx couldn't remember right now came in for a report, they were laughing before they walked in but as soon as they saw her their laughter died down and their face adopted that same pathetic sad look that she was dreading - she felt like screaming!!!  
  
The phone rang and Alexx picked it up instantly, before it could even complete the first ring.  
  
She listened for a minute and became as pale as the wall behind her. Without a word she grabbed her bag and left the lab.  
  
The phone was left dangling from the table.  
  
*  
  
Horatio looked over at his team.  
  
This was starting to get annoyingly familiar. The waiting, the hospital, the doctors rushing around them.  
  
Erik was pacing - actually creating a dent in the floor. Speed was eerily quiet. Alexx was crying - her head on Speed's shoulder. Hagen was crouched on the floor, his head buried in his hands.  
  
He wanted to say something to him, because he knew what he was going through - how he was blaming himself for what happened to Calleigh just like he was still blaming himself for what happened to Horatio's own brother Ray - but he knew it wouldn't do any good. It didn't do any good when he kept saying it to himself.  
  
A tiered looking doctor came out to meet them.  
  
"It was a close call" he told them "But she's going to be alright. When she was moved it tore some blood vessels, it caused major bleeding and eventually her heart stopped."  
  
"but she's going to be ok right?" Erik insisted  
  
"She'll be fine.eventually" the doctor hesitated "but the healing process is going to be long and unfortunately very painful"  
  
Alexx took the doctor aside and the too of them exchanged some of the more elaborated medical information. Horatio was about to say something when two men in suits along with the police commander - George Harkin - approached them.  
  
"Detective Hagen?"  
  
"Yeah, that's me" Hagen pushed himself off the wall and came forward  
  
"We're from internal affairs - is there somewhere we could talk?"  
  
*  
  
"What is this about?" Hagen asked impatiently as soon as they were out of earshot. He didn't miss the look of concern Horatio threw his way before they walked off.  
  
"We're here to get your account of today's shooting" The younger of the two men said  
  
"He kidnapped a Miami Dade county officer, he was holding her hostage at gun point, I shot him. What more do you want?"  
  
"Well, there is some concern."  
  
"Just spit it out already will you?" Hagen was getting real mad, real fast "What is it?"  
  
Speed came round the corner and lingered by, eavesdropping, unnoticed.  
  
"There is some concern that you might have been a little too easy on the trigger due to your personal involvement with certain members of the CSI team"  
  
"Are you accusing me of anything?" Hagen just couldn't believe his ears  
  
"There's going to be a full investigation." The younger man spoke again but Harkin, Hagen's boss cut him off, finally joining the conversation.  
  
"Look John, the press is all over this, they're saying that police officers are going on vendetta's against criminal's who go after their own. They're coming down hard on us, we need to conduct everything by the book"  
  
"So IA is going to do an investigation.." Hagen's mind was still trying to catch up  
  
"I'm going to have to put you on suspension John, I need you to turn in your gun and badge" Harkin looked a little uncomfortable but it only made Hagen even angrier.  
  
With a look of utter disgust he unhooked his gun and badge from his belt and threw them at his boss, walking away he went through the double doors and let them slam behind him. 


	11. Chapter 9

Well I know it's been taking me a long time - but I can't help it! Real life just keeps getting in the way! This chapter is a little short but something is better then nothing I guess - hope you enjoy it and as always - reviews will be more than welcome!!!  
  
PART 10  
  
Calleigh opened her eyes, the room around her was dark, and her vision was still a bit blurry, but she could make out a figure slumped in a chair next to her.  
  
For a moment, terror came over her and she thought is was still Kerner, that she was still hostage, that he was still holding a gun to her head.  
  
"Cal, Calleigh"  
  
The voice sounded familiar and it penetrated through her panic.  
  
"Calleigh, It's Horatio.It's me"  
  
She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, then opened them again, allowing her vision to adjust. Horatio's familiar figure came into view and he was smiling down at her, a mixture of fear and relief evident in his eyes. "I sent everyone home to get some rest" he told her quietly "Alexx is still here. She's out in the hall"  
  
"You should get some rest too H" she managed to whisper back "you look like shit"  
  
He let out a small chuckle "I can see you're feeling better"  
  
She smiled back and he rubbed his eyes, he was dead tiered - he couldn't even remember when was the last time he slept - probably before the prison break out, and that seemed like ages ago.  
  
"seriously H, go home, get some rest, I'm going to be fine" she tried to shift in bed but couldn't really move - she figured they must have pumped her full of painkillers and that was why her entire body was feeling so numb.  
  
"I'm going, I'm going" he relented "I'll send Alexx in to stay with you"  
  
*  
  
"Why didn't you wait for the SWAT team?"  
  
"There wasn't any time" Hagen sighed, explaining it for the fifth time "Kerner had a hostage, we were trying to get in there before he killed her."  
  
"You had no way of knowing she was even alive to begin with." the investigator from internal affairs said dryly, jotting something down in his notebook "What exactly is the nature of your relationship with Miss Duquesne?"  
  
"We work together. she's one of the CSI's working on the case" He was talking through clenched teeth, trying to control his anger  
  
"According to eye witnesses you stayed the night with her here at CSI, is that standard procedure for you with all CSI officers working with you?"  
  
"She had a history with Kerner, I was concerned for her safety.I've been working with Cal.. with Miss Duquesne for a couple of years. Kerner had already killed the DA on the case - I was trying to make sure Miss Duquesne was safe. That's all"  
  
"Then why did you go into the building with out waiting for the SWAT team? Why didn't you wait for back up? You went in there on your own - there weren't even any other officers on the scene for god's sake!!!"  
  
"Lieutenant Caine and CSI's Speedle and Delko were there."  
  
"They are all CSI, they're not police officers and they shouldn't have even been there in the first place!!!" The investigator started pacing the room in front of him "They were emotionally involved! You were all emotionally involved!!!"  
  
"You know what? Yes! I was emotionally involved! We were all emotionally involved! This guy shot and kidnapped one of our own!" He got to his feet and screamed at the investigator. It probably wasn't the best thing to do right now - but he didn't care "He almost killed her before and he was about to finish the job - so yeah! I went in there! And no, I didn't wait for the SWAT team because I didn't think we had time - You wanna have my badge for that? Go right ahead! Take it! I don't give a damn!"  
  
With that, he walked over to the door and yanked it open, storming out to the hall. He could hear the investigator calling out after him, saying something about them not being finished yet - but he just kept on walking. He had been sitting in that room for the past 4 hours, trying to explain his action - and frankly - he didn't think there was anything to explain to begin with.  
  
It was supposed to be simple - the guy broke out of jail and started killing people, he shot Calliegh, he kidnapped he right under their noses from the hospital, he was going to kill her - he shot the bastard.  
  
It was supposed to be simple.  
  
*  
  
Calleigh woke up abruptly, her breath catching in her throat.  
  
He was there. he came after her again.she could feel his hands grabbing her, see his face, feel the cold metal of his gun as it pressed against her temple.  
  
"Call', Calleigh sweetheart? Are you alright?"  
  
she focused on the voice saying her name and managed to calm down a bit. She was in her hospital room, she must have fallen asleep right after talking to Horatio. Horatio. she sent him home. It was just a nightmare. She was safe. Alexx was supposed to be there with her  
  
"Hey Alexx"  
  
"Are you ok Sweetie? What happened?"  
  
"Nothing, just a bad dream" she smiled faintly. She didn't want to admit how much the dream shook her - how much it was still shaking her.  
  
"Are you sure?" Alexx patted her forehead gently "You want me to get someone?"  
  
"Nah I 'm fine"  
  
For a few moments the two friends were silent  
  
"Alexx, you mind doing me a favor?" Calleigh suddenly asked, feeling a little sheepish  
  
"What is it sweetie?"  
  
"Would you mind staying here with me for a while? Just, I don't know. hold my hand until I fall asleep?"  
  
Alexx frowned slightly at the request and gave Calleigh a quizzical look.  
  
"What is it Alexx? What's wrong?"  
  
"Calleigh." Alexx hesitated for a moment "Calleigh, I'm already holding your hand.Can't you feel it?" 


	12. Chapter 10

Part 11  
  
There were tests, hundreds of them, needles poking her everywhere, ex-rays and MRI's. The doctors kept coming in and out of her room with concerned looks in their eyes, whispering among them selves in medical lingo she could only partly understand. Alexx was with her all the time, stroking her hair, talking to the doctors, looking through the charts.  
  
She made her swear not to call the others, not even Horatio. She told her that she didn't want them to worry, but the truth was - she simply didn't want them to know. She was a CSI, a ballistics expert - and now she couldn't feel her hand...how would she be able to do her work with out the use of her hand? What would she do if she wouldn't be able to fire a rifle properly?  
  
It took hours but finally, the doctor came into her room wearing an expression that told her he finally had an answer.  
  
*  
  
Speed walked slowly into the police station and looked around until he spotted Hagen on the other side of the large room. He walked over and leaned against the wall of Hagen's cubicle, watching the other man as he pulled open some drawers and took out a few personal items.  
  
"So, the rumor mill is saying you stormed out of an IA investigation..."  
  
"What do you want Speed?" Hagen spat impatiently, not bothering to look at him as he continued packing the contents of his desk into a small box  
  
"I want you to stop acting like an idiot and go back in there" Speed said forcefully, and kept on his stern expression even after Hagen shot him an angry look - it wasn't every day that someone got to call Hagen an Idiot and live to tell the tale. "Yeah, I called you an idiot - deal with it! Now, do you mind telling me what the hell you think you're doing messing with IA like this?"  
  
"They think we shouldn't have gone in there, that we should have waited for the SWAT team" Hagen sighed and shook his head "forget it Speed, just let it go..."  
  
"Why? What's going on John?"  
  
Hagen pulled the lid on the small box and grabbed his jacket "It's over Speed. I stormed out, I told them they could have my badge..."  
  
"Come on, you were just angry...they're not..."  
  
"They just did..." Hagen said somberly "I'm on leave without pay until further notice. The captain got pissed, the IA people are breathing down his neck and he had to do something - I gave him the perfect excuse. They want me to see a shrink - they're saying I might not be psychologically stable enough for work"  
  
Hagen turned and started heading towards the exit and Speed silently followed him, still shocked at what he had just heard.  
  
They worked with a lot of detectives over the years, some weeks they would work with 4 or 5 different detectives at once - some of them were good some of them were bad, a lot of them didn't trust forensic science and thought the whole thing was some kind of voodoo-black-magic crap that deserved little attention or respect, Hagen was always an exception. Maybe it was his relationship with Horatio, maybe it was something in his character – but he always gave forensics the proper respect – he didn't dismiss it, he didn't expect it to solve the entire case while he sat around and did nothing – he took it at face value – which was rare.  
  
Speed was so caught up in his thoughts that he hardly even realized that he was walking Hagen down to the parking garage until Hagen dumped his box on the back seat of his car and turned around to him expectantly  
  
"Is this the point where we hug goodbye? Cause I got to tell you, I'm not sure I'm comfortable with these displays of affection" Hagen tried to joke  
  
"Seriously John, what are you going to do now?"  
  
"I don't know" Hagen shrugged "Take a vacation, go somewhere, learn to surf..."  
  
They finally parted and Speed watched him drive away, then took out his cell phone and checked for reception – Horatio had to be told about this.  
  
*  
  
He knew something was wrong as soon as he walked into the room. Calleigh was lying, facing the window, watching the darkness outside. He could make out traces of tears on her cheeks. If she heard him walk in, she wasn't showing any sign of it so he simply sat down in the chair next to her bed with out saying a word.  
  
He waited for the better part of an hour until she turned around and looked at him, even then he somehow knew it wouldn't be right to simply come out and ask her what's wrong.  
  
"They told me you killed Kerner"  
  
"He was holding a gun to your head..." he shrugged, this was the last subject he wanted to discuss that moment.  
  
"I'm glad...I'm glad he's dead!!!" for some reason the rage in her voice and fire in her eyes made him feel uneasy.  
  
"He was a bad guy, it was a hostage situation..."  
  
"They're not sure if I'll ever be able to use my hand" she spoke so quietly he could hardly hear her but her words still came as a shock "There was some nerve damage... they say with some physical therapy I'll be able to regain control of my muscles, I'll be able to move it again, but the doctor says I'll never be able to use it like before...it'll never be the same"  
  
For a long time the two of them were quiet, she ran out of words, and he simply didn't know what to say. He had a lot of questions – but he wasn't sure this was the right time for them.  
  
In the end he simply moved closer and took her hand in his, watching as the tears washed over her again and waiting until the sobs subsided. He stayed until she fell asleep – and hours after that.  
  
*  
  
When she woke up again it was close to dawn and she didn't know how much time she was asleep but she figured it couldn't be that long since Hagen was still there by her side. He gave her a small smile when he noticed she was awake, and she tried to return it but decided not to bother.  
  
"The others... do they know about this?"  
  
"No, and you can't tell them! They can't know about this!"  
  
"They're your friends Calleigh! They're going to want to be there for you, to help you!"  
  
"I don't need their help!" the Duquesne stubborn streak was once again rearing it's ugly head "I'm not helpless, I can deal with this myself!"  
  
"Deal with it? Calleigh, what exactly does this mean?"  
  
"It means, I can take care of myself, I can still do my job, I don't need any pity or help!" she said stubbornly and for a moment he wasn't sure whether she was trying to convince him or herself "Hagen, please! Promise me you won't tell them! I need you to give me your word!" 


	13. Chapter 11

So…

I haven't updated in a REALLY long time.. like a year… I don't know if there is even a point to writing this story anymore (since so much has changed in the show since I started this story)…I've had writer's block for a really long time and I just got back to writing and this chapter was kind of sitting in my hard drive, half finished… So I figured I'd at least finish this chapter and see how it goes.

Anyway, tell me if you think I should keep going or just leave it in-complete…

Part 12

It's been three weeks Speed thought to himself tiredly three weeks of coming to work and then going over to the hospital to see Calleigh, three weeks of Erik being unusually quiet and somber, three week of IA officers questioning them over and over again about what happened, three weeks of John's empty desk making everyone feeling uncomfortable and twitchy…

He walked down the hall to his lab and glanced up to look at Horatio's office and saw that the door and the blinds were closed. Closed blinds could only mean one thing - The IA people were up there again, which meant Horatio would be in a bad mood for the rest of the day.

He placed his last report of the day in his "out - going" tray and grabbed his jacket, thinking that an early lunch was just what the doctor ordered. As he walked out he suddenly bumped into someone.

"Gee Speed, I just got out of the hospital, you really want to send me back there after a hit and run?"

"Calleigh!" without thinking he immediately engulfed her in a big hug, then let go of her in a hurry and gave her a worried look "I'm sorry, did I hurt you? I didn't mean…"

"It's fine! I'm fine Tim!" She laughed at him "I'm not about to brake!"

He smiled broadly and gave her a quick look. It was so good to see her like this - up on her feet and in her natural surroundings - she even had that smile on her face, the smile that seemed to change the entire environment of the room.

"I didn't know they were letting you out today? Why didn't you tell me?"

"They weren't sure until this morning, I didn't want to say anything until they were sure" She shrugged as they walked out of the lab together.

"And you came straight to work? Don't you want to go home and rest or something?"

"I think I've had enough rest to last me a life time!" she laughed at him, and it was so good to hear that laughter he felt like hugging her all over again.

"Speed!" some technician called for him from the other end of the hall waving a sheet of paper in the air frantically to indicate the arrival some test results.

"I should go see what's that about…" he apologized and started heading down the hall when her voice stopped him dead in his tracks

"Hey Tim, Do you know where John is? I went by his desk, but he wasn't there? You know if he's been called out on a case?"

* * *

John was sprawled across his living room couch in a pair of jeans and a faded T shirt, there was a beer in his hand, a sandwich on the coffee table beside him, and a football game on TV.

For a minute he thought to himself that he was turning into the poster boy for unemployed- lazy-white-trash, but he didn't really care anymore.

He knew sooner or later he'd have to go out there and find a new job, something to do with his life, but for now he figured he was entitled for a few weeks of self pity. Besides, he didn't relish the thought of going out there looking for a job, knowing that with an "unlawful killing of a suspect" on his record - there aren't going to be a lot of employers jumping through hoops for the privilege of hiring him.

Instead, he figured he'd do his best to delay that bitter rejection process, by spending most of his days sitting in his house in his PJ's and doing absolutely nothing. In fact, the only times he actually got dressed anymore was when he went to visit Calleigh at the hospital.

He got up from his couch to get another beer when he heard the door bell ring. He opened the door with his eyes still on the TV screen, trying not to miss the game.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" The voice from the doorway made his head snap to that direction immediately.

"Calleigh? What? What …" he started stammering but she simply walked passed him, entering the apartment and looking around her with a disapproving look on her face

"3 Weeks John, for 3 weeks you've been coming to see me everyday, acting like nothing happened, telling me everything was ok!"

"Everything is ok Calleigh.." he tried to cut in but she just went on as if his attempt to protest didn't even register.

"Did you really think I wouldn't find out? Did you really think no one would eventually tell me that you got fired for shooting Kerner? And what the hell do you think you were doing storming out of an IA investigation like that? Did you wake up that morning and figured - hey let's perform career suicide today or something? I can't believe you! And I can't believe you've been lying to me for 3 whole weeks…"

She finally stopped her rant when she noticed he was smiling at her sheepishly

"What are you smiling about?"

"It's good to see you Call', you can go back to yelling at me in a moment but I just wanted to say it - it's good having you back Calliegh"

The confession and the look on his face finally broke through her anger and she let out a small sigh, allowing herself a tiny smile "It's good to be back John" she admitted going over to him and hugging him tightly "It's really good to be back".

* * *

An hour later they were sitting on his porch drinking a beer, letting the warm Miami evening breeze wash over them as the day light began to fade away and dim.

"So really Hagen, what's with the whole getting yourself fired thing?" Calliegh brought up the subject again after they managed to dance around it for the past hour.

"It was a little too much" he shrugged, not really giving an explanation "Maybe I'm done being cop… maybe it was time to quit anyway…"

"What are you talking about?" she turned to him "You love being a cop! It's who you are!"

"Is it?" he said sadly "I'm 37 years old Call', I've been a cop almost half my life, and what have I got to show for it? The best friend I ever had is dead, I haven't had a friend outside the department for years and the ones I had I haven't seen in years. Every women I meet thinks it's cool to date a cop for the first two weeks until she notices I'm never around and thinks the whole thing over again. I have a small apartment an old car, I don't even own a dog… I don't know… maybe being a cop just isn't enough anymore…"

There was a long silence as she took in what he had just told her "So this is it? You're really just going to give it all up?"

"I don't know yet… maybe… I guess I just need some time, you know?"


End file.
